I keep on falling I keep on falling short. This world keeps bringing me down. You keep on calling.

Hi hey hello,

So, as you may have noticed, I have released myself from the need to post everyday. I am officially stopping that, and I will only be posting a few times a week, maybe like every other day. Really it is going to be whenever I have something I want to write about!

Anyway, as I write this, I am watching the playback of session 1, and man is it amazing. GOD IS DOING SUCH AMAZING THINGS IN MY GENERATION AND IT IS SO EXCITING! It is so cool.

Last night, I was reading in my Bible and I began reading Revelation 2. Verse 4 says, “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.”  It struck me hard. I have been in a real dry spell recently, not reading my Bible regularly, not praying without ceasing, generally going in the opposite direction of God. I was wholly dependent upon myself for everything, my own willpower to stop doing something, my own strength to deal with problems. I had forgotten my first love. Jesus is my first love… and I FORGOT HIM. I not only forgot Him, I forsook Him. To forsake means: to renounce or turn away from entirely. I had turned away from God.

At that moment I stopped and prayed that I would fall back in love with God, fall so desperately in love with Him that I could never again forsake Him. God, the creator of the universe, who has the power to stop my breath without uttering a word, and I stop caring about Him. WHAT???? That does not even make sense. Me and my puny self thought that I could make it without Him. It is impossible. In that moment I prayed that God would take over my life and I gave everything over to Him, and you know what, instantaneously, everything seemed to slow down. Those silly, frivolous things that I had been so worried about seemed distant and small. God works in such amazing ways.

Praise Jesus that He doesn’t have mood-swings and isn’t forgetful like I am!

Title Lyrics: Call Me Out – Gungor 


If you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to. So make a move, ‘cos I ain’t got all night. The rest of the summer was the best we ever had. We watched Titanic, and it didn’t make us sad.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all have had a good week so far!

Last night we had Bible Study out at Wakulla and we talked about something interesting. Instead of having a regular lesson and discussion type deal like normal, Josh just opened up the floor for questions… and when none came in, he began asking questions. One he asked was, “What is a spiritual life?” It is a valid question, especially for these middle schoolers. The general answer had things to do with what WE do. Read your Bible, don’t cuss, go to church. It was all around ME, what I do to get to God. Josh corrected them and really drove home the point that it isn’t US, it’s God. It’s a relationship with God. It’s an intimate relationship with our Father and out of that flows those other things.

I love that. It’s so simple. I feel like I need to be brought back to the simple way too often. I get so focused on the crazy problems and little minuscule things that really aren’t that important and forget that I am talking to my Father, not some genie or problem solver. It’s a relationship, and though it’s give and take, God does most of the giving. If I focus on my relationship with my Father over what my issues are, those issues will work themselves out. Ah wonderful simplicity, how I love thee.

What little things do you get caught up on?

Title Lyrics: (If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To – Weezer


Love came down and hope was found. Life began again. A brand new start. Yeah, a brand new start. The promise of a brighter day.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all had a not so horrible Monday! Mine wasn’t too terrible, I went to class, work, home, homework, blog, bed. That is essentially my life for the most part, you can sometimes take out the work and add Wakulla, but for the most part, this is it.
Anyway, this past week or so I have been learning a lesson that has really been coming for a while now. I know that to some people this may seem so unbelievably obvious that it is dumb that I am just now figuring this out, but it’s true. God is really teaching me that each day is a new day. Yesterday’s mess ups happened, and now I need to move on. Tomorrow is going to have its own problems, and I do not need to worry about them right now. I need to remember that each day is a new day and that I need to focus on the moment, what I am doing right now. I am really bad about dwelling on how badly the previous days have been, how I skimped out on my homework, or didn’t study, or stayed up too late, or missed a quiet time. I get bogged down by that and beat myself up over it.

God is teaching me that, was it smart to do all those things, no, but I need to move on and learn from my mistakes instead of dwelling on them and letting them ruin my other days.

What you are learning right now?

Title Lyrics: Brighter Day – Gungor



Your love and mercy build and shape us. Break us and recreate us now. Lord have mercy.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all had a good weekend! Mine was alright, nothing too spectacular, except getting to go to WUMC. I seriously look forward to it all week. It’s great. Anyway..

So, last night at WUMC Youth, Nick Reed taught instead of Josh Hawkins. Nick is an absolutely fantastic guy and he is an amazing teacher. He talked about God breathing life into you. He talked about how, without God, people are like zombies. It was really cool. One of my favorite things he said was an analogy that really stuck with me. He said, we tell God we are going to give Him everything, but we hold back one thing. It’s like we throw our keys to God, and tell Him to take the wheel and be the driver, but we keep the car key. We hold back what we need to give God so that He can really take control and work. It was such an amazing message.

Fo realz though, if you get an opportunity to see him speak, go. God is just working so powerfully in his life.

What do you think of that analogy?

Title Lyrics: We Will Run – Gungor 


Five years of your mistakes, and this is where it leads. Some broken promises, and love you did not mean.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend! Mine was absolutely fantastic. Guys, Saturday night was awesome. We had so much fun, all the bands were AMAZING, the people at the show were lovely, and dinner beforehand was stinkin’ sweet. This weekend overall has been awesome. Yay. And to top it all off, Josh gave a spectacular sermon last night. (a rare thing, I know… just kidding)

So, he seriously gave me enough ideas to talk about for right around a week, so you may or may not be getting a straight week of posts based off sermons a la Josh Hawkins.

He talked about the Sermon on the Mount, again, and this time, the topic was the Lord’s Prayer, if you grew up anywhere around a church, even if you were only in earshot of a church, you have probably at some point heard this prayer, but if you somehow have never read/heard it, here it is.

Matthew 6:9-13 

“Pray, then, in this way:

Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]

So, my favorite part, or perhaps the part that hit me the most was the part about forgiveness. If you read it carefully, which you should go do …. NOW. Did you read it? I hope you did. It says, forgive us… AS… we forgive people. So, we are asking God to forgive us as much as we forgive other people. So, if we hold a grudge and don’t forgive someone for something, we are telling God to do the same to us. How much would that SUCK?! I know I have a habit of getting mad at someone because they hurt me and never forgiving them for it, just holding onto it, brooding over it, but in doing that, I am saying that I want God to do the same to me. If I sit here and think about all the ways I have sinned today and think about all the people who I haven’t forgiven, I am pretty much screwed.

I like to think that I forgive people, but I know that isn’t true. I think I get over stuff, but then something happens and God is like, “Yeah, that… you never dealt with that… let’s deal with that.” And I’m like, “Dang it, I suck.” I know that my lack of forgiving people has definitely driven stakes in many of my friendships, and it sucks. One thing I want to be is more forgiving. Everyone is in the same boat, we all sin and we all suck, so I have absolutely no right to judge anyone else for messing up. If my hope and faith was in Christ, as it should be, and not in my friends and family, I wouldn’t have nearly as much to get mad over, because I would come to know that people are going to fail me and I can turn to God.

Who do you need to forgiven? (Rhetorical question, but if you want to respond or talk it out, I am totally open to that!)

Title Lyrics: Anything and Everything  – The Icarus Account 


Here in my head I have all these ideas, of things I shoud say. Oh and how I should say them, but when she’s around me, I can barely speak and sometimes it’s easier to dream.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all have had a great week so far! In all honestly, yesterday was really long. Not because I had anything crazy to do, but because I have had a lot on my mind. Anyway, so if you didn’t know, people bringing up my blog or mentioning that they read my blog when I see them is basically the best thing ever.

So, last night at Bible Study we talked about something that I really needed to be reminded of. We talked about how big God is, and then how crazy it is that this huge God loves us. We read part of Revelation 4, which is talking about the throne of God. Basically, the throne is infinitely more amazing than we could ever possibly imagine and the God seated upon it is even more amazing than that! I love getting to share my passion for this with my girls. I was able to just pour into my girls and try in some small way show them just how much God loves them and how people will always fail us, God NEVER WILL. I need that reminder every day. I put my faith in people way more often than I should, and they fail me, and I get hurt.

God will never fail us. He loves us unconditionally. He is the perfect love.

Title Lyrics: Jasmine – The Icarus Account 


We were 18 and everyone was telling us to have our fun. You’ve got nothing but time. But we were falling hard and falling fast for love had taken over us.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all have had a fabulous week so far! We made it to Wednesday! Seriously, such an accomplishment in my book. I got to go to The Living Room last night, which seriously, other than going to Wakulla, is my favorite thing that I get to do during the week.

One thing that I have been learning is perspective. Perspective, not just in my spiritual life, but in my daily regular life, in my school life. One thing that has been a struggle for me since I started college is balancing my homework with my spiritual life, and with my personal life. I got to the point at the beginning of the semester where literally all I did was go to school, homework, and Wakulla. I didn’t see anyone, I didn’t talk to anyone, I didn’t do anything. I just did homework. I am slowly learning to balance this out. I am learning that in the grand scheme of life, not doing 1 reading or missing a chapter here or there is not going to kill me. I am not going to fail a course because I didn’t read those four pages. It has been a nice reprieve. I mean, I still work really hard on my work, but now I have time to sit down and watch some television, or go to a house show, and go out to dinner with someone. I love having this time.

What have you been learning recently?

Title Lyrics: Too Young For This Love – The Icarus Account 


We all want something more. You’re something more, You’re so much more. You, all I ever wanted. You, all I ever needed.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all had a good weekend! Mine was pretty good, very productive. I legitimately got all my homework done on Friday night! I was super pumped. I got all my reading for history done, got ahead in the book I have to read, got my study guide all prepped for studying tomorrow, and got my education assignments done. I am such a beast. Just kidding… sorta.

Saturday was a day that I legitimately just laid around, until the evening. That evening I went to Wakulla to have a little fundraiser dealio for DR. It was awesome, we ate yummy food, watched the football game, played cards, and got to spend time with some of my favorite people. It’s so funny how in such a short time, a group of people can creep up and take up such a large place in your heart. I’ve only been at Wakulla for a little less than two months, and already these kids have taken up residency in my heart. I just love them to death. Oh yeah, Josh, Wesley, and Ashleigh are pretty cool too, I guess. 🙂

So, after a long night of watching football and playing cards, not getting home until 12:30, and then not sleeping like a dumbo after that, I didn’t want to get up to go to church yesterday morning, and after turning off my alarm twice, I got up and got ready in time to just make it to second service. I am so glad I went! It was such an awesome message!

One thing Pastor Kent said that I really like, and even though it is so unbelievably cheesy and dumb, it is true and it always seems to stick with me. He said, we are a living epistle, and we are the book people will read more than the Bible. Meaning, our lives are going to be the only testimony a person may receive. It is such a cliché phrase, but it holds so much truth.

One thing that Pastor Kent said that really hit me was that an “off-color” innuendo can completely ruin our witness for someone. I don’t know about you, but I am incredibly guilty of tossing out innuendos and also laughing at them. I mean, let’s be honest, they are really funny, but they are crude, dirty, and overall not something that Philippians 4:8 says we should be thinking about. That one really hit me and I want to get better about that. Even today, after that message, I can think of more than a few instances where I either said or laughed at an “off-color” innuendo.

What do you all think about that?

Title Lyrics: All I Want Is You  – Phil Wickham 


I don’t want to ride on somebody else’s passion. I don’t want to find that I’m just dry bones. I want to burn with unquenchable fire. Deep down inside see it coming alive.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you all had a beautiful Wednesday. Seriously, the weather in Tallahassee is SO AWESOME right now. It feels great all day and it isn’t unbearably hot. Loving it! Not quite scarf and tights weather yet, but I can definitely deal with this weather.

Anyway, yesterday was so productive. It is so funny, late at night is like my most productive time. I mean, I am productive throughout the day, but I get so much more done and seem to have so many more ideas at 1 am than earlier, more respectable hours. The only problem, my brain moves much faster than my fingers at that hour. It is rather funny.

So, last night at youth we talked about some really great stuff. This was the first week Josh has led Bible Study in quite a while, so it was a welcome return, not that the others weren’t great, well, Brett and Cameron’s were great, mine not so much.Anyway… We talked about something that is near and dear to my heart. We talked about Acts 9, which talks about the conversion of Saul. I love this passage of scripture because it shows just how awesome God is. Saul was one of those people who we think are beyond the love of God, who are just too bad. Yet, all this time, God has been holding out His hand for Saul!

God’s love is SO GREAT. That is something that I want my Wakulla girls to understand so badly. I remember back in middle school, if I had grasped just how unfathomable God’s love is for me, that would have changed my world. I was so self-conscious and thought myself to be horrible. If I had understood that my entire world would have been rocked, I wouldn’t have been so focused on boys, relationships, social pressures, and what people thought. Now, that is not to say that now I have it all figured out and that I have gotten all of those things under control and that they no longer affect me. That is not true, but understanding the hugeness and expanse of God’s love for us definitely puts those things into perspective. Because of that, I just want my girls to know that God loves them more infinitely than any boy or friend or parent or sibling ever could. There is so much hurt that would have not been had I not put all my faith and hope in guys and my friends, I don’t want my girls to have to go through all that, because, to be frank, it sucks. I know I came out a better person, but I would rather my girls learn from my mistakes than to have to experience them for themselves.

So, I just want to tell you this, in case you haven’t heard it today. God loves you, so very much. So much more than you could ever imagine. He will never forsake you because you’re stupid one day. He won’t ignore you because you ignored Him. He won’t hate you because you mess up. He forgives and He LOVES you still! His love NEVER CHANGES! No matter how many times you mess up and do silly things, He loves you!

That is just a reminder I need every now and then.

Title Lyrics: No Better Time – United Pursuit Band 


I’m gonna be her prize fighter. I know that she’s out of my league. I’m gonna be her prize fighter. My uniform has been decreed.

Hi hey hello,

I hope you had a great Tuesday! Mine was long.. as always, but it was so very productive. I got a bunch of homework done, and I figured out what I have to do to get some things done on time! Gotta love that!

Anyway, I was reading on The College Prepster about where she likes to think, and where she gets the most inspiration. One of the places she mentioned was the movies. I have to agree. Ever since I went and saw The Perks of Being a Wallflower, so much about me has been inspired, my music has been inspired, my attire has been inspired, and my thought life has been inspired and that got me thinking. How much do these things really impact us, without even thinking about it?

So, a big part of this movie is misfits and kids who listen to older music, that is not the top 40. Due to that, I have been listening almost exclusively to older music… and the Killers and Neon Trees. I don’t even know why. I mean, it’s all great music, but it changed so drastically. It isn’t bad by any means, but if something that innocent changed, what else is the music, movies, television, and society we subject ourselves to changing?

I don’t know about you, but music does affect me rather drastically. It affects how I feel and my outlook, that is why when I am sad, I try to listen to happy music. When I am upset, I listen to calming music. Music is so engrained into my generation, it’s insane. Looking around campus, 2 in 3 people have their earbuds in jamming to their latest favorite. Even now, I am jamming out to some Battle Born. It is so crazy how much that affects us!

What do you think about that?

Title Lyrics: Prize Fighter – The Killers